Shocking News

To hear that one’s wife probably has cancer must count as just about the worst kind of news one can get. In her phone call, our GP said that Gail should anticipate chemo therapy, perhaps radiation therapy and possibly an operation later on.

So the 1^st of July 2013 was one of those days - one of those days when everything changes. Goodbye “normal” life! But what is a “normal” life anyway?

Adjusting to the new reality was difficult to say the least. Tears would well up every time I looked at Gail as I realised how much she meant to me. It was hard to remain composed whilst the kids were around. That night, over and over, I would be jerked awake as the words “Gail has cancer” bludgeoned my mind.

 Perhaps the most difficult thing about adjusting to a new reality is not knowing what the new reality is. It took over three weeks of tests, scans, biopsies, medical procedures and consultations before we even knew whether Gail would make it to Christmas; so controlling my mind that night became a no-holds-barred fight.

In the one corner of the ring were thoughts and images that seemed to come unbidden from nowhere. For example, I would see a picture in my mind’s eye of Katherine’s wedding with Gail missing.

In the other corner of the ring was Psalm 84. I call Psalm 84 my life psalm. I repeat it to myself and meditate on it to overcome fear. Psalm 84 is about trusting God during times of adversity. The psalmist reminds us that intimacy with God is the foundation of trust, that worship is the pathway to trust, and that God alone should be the focus of our trust.

So in the early hours of July 2^nd, I was reciting Psalm 84 over and over to myself. Often my meditation would be interrupted by sleep or fretful thoughts and tears, but I kept dragging my mind back to Psalm 84.

As time went on, one particular verse began to rise above the rest. It was as if this verse opened a portal to heaven allowing peace to flood into my being. “The Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favour and honour; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless”. God, like the sun, would be our source of light, life and supply; like a shield, He would be our protection. I would hold on to that and believe it no matter what.  Then at last, along with Horatio Spafford the famous hymn writer, I could say that peace like a river was attending my soul.

But God wasn’t finished with His encouragement. He never is! In Romans, Paul tells us that “through [Christ] we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand” (5:2). Reader, we are standing in a mighty waterfall of grace! “O the deep, deep love of Jesus, vast, unmeasured, boundless, free! Rolling as a mighty ocean in its fullness over me! Underneath me, all around me, is the current of Thy love (S.T. Francis).” In the coming weeks, I intend to share with you the amazing provision and grace that we have experienced. But before I sign off, let me finish with this:

A few days after the news, a friend dropped off some goodies along with a packet of book marks for Gail. At the bottom of the packet there was a Bible reference: Psalm 84:11. Then another friend arrived with an early 20^th anniversary present for us. “I have written the verse from my Bible reading this morning in the card”, she said. It was Psalm 84:11.

And so a new chapter of our lives has begun. It has begun with the gracious provision and protection of God. And thus it will continue. Jesus said, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. (John 16:33)".

We are living in a waterfall of grace and underneath us, all around us, is the current of God’s love. “The Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favour and honour; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless” (Psalm 84:11).

Cheers for now - Ian