Putting my foot in it

A couple of weeks ago, I bumped into a past lecturer of mine. I probably looked like a rabbit in the headlights. My over-worked CPU was trying to do two things at once: 1) remember his name and 2) scan my hard drive for a conversation starter. Well reader, I got the name right, but my opening salvo was a conversation killer: “So, are you still victimising students at Harare Theological College?” Arrrrrrrgh.... why did I say that! I guess we all put our foot in it from time to time.

                Having discovered one cannot physically die from embarrassment, I got to wondering why the tongue comes without ABS braking. Why is it SO hard NOT to say the first thing that pops into my mind? And why are “pop-up” thoughts usually the last thoughts we should verbalise? My lecturer was one of the best, having had a profoundly good influence on my preaching and ministry - so my “pop-up” wasn’t even true.

So much for verbal knee-jerks! But I find it difficult to meet Biblical standards of speech even when I have thought before speaking. The Bible says, speak “only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen (Eph. 4:29)”. Question: which words will most build a person up and meet his needs at a particular point in time?  After all, constructive speech isn’t simply about giving a person a mirror and helping him to like what he sees. In some cases, Jesus gave a loving rebuke.

                In fact the Biblical standard is impossible to meet. James writes: “We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check (James 3:2).” James is saying that control of the tongue is a measure of how much you can control your entire self. If you can control your tongue perfectly, you are a perfect person. So your speech is an audible measure of your inner maturity. If you are honest, you will admit that your speech bears testimony to the fact that you are not perfect ... yet.

However, we must have a passion to become steadily more like Christ. We haven’t arrived. Yet we ARE on our way. And here’s the thing, only the Holy Spirit can help us to become more and more like Christ. Paul describes our ongoing transformation in these terms. “And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit” (2 Cor. 3:18). The change is progressive, and it is brought about by the Spirit.

                So may you learn, as I have, to view speech as a measure of maturity and as a stimulus for growth. Aim for growth, but recognise that perfection is impossible this side of heaven. Be quick to listen and slow to speak and slow to become angry (James 1:19). Invite the Spirit to help you. Ask Him to ring the alarm bell when you are about to speak destructively. Get His perspective on what to say in any given situation, asking for words that will build up and meet needs. But when you put your foot in it, tell yourself, “Ok, I haven’t arrived, but I’m on my way”. Then use the failure as a spur to deepen your “transformation partnership” with the Holy Spirit. Work with the Spirit, and He will change you and your speech from glory to glory. You need not be the same today as you were last year, nor do you need to be the same next year as you are today. We are being transformed into the likeness of Christ – praise God!!

Cheers for now - Ian